The Starving Artist Myth: What, That Again? II

(A Packing Tutorial in Disguise) by François Grenier, Ceramist Extraordinaire, and Harlow, my AI Co-conspirator

Cabossé 38 - detail

Step 1: Build Your Box Like You Build Your Career —

From scraps. Carefully. In a garage.

Start with a reused box because sustainability is trendy and expanding foam is for trust fund sculptors. Layer the bottom with that rolled-up bubble wrap you recuperated from the gallery’s dumpster. Add some leftover dreams for cushioning.

Step 2: Wrap Your Piece, Not Your Identity

Use cling film. Or bubble wrap. Or the wrapping paper from that rejection letter. You could use museum-grade Tyvek, but let’s be honest — we used that for kindling last winter. Secure it with blue painter’s tape and 30 years of doubt.

Step 3: Calculate the Real Cost of This "Sale"

Let’s do the math together:

• $850 sale price

• $425 to the gallery

• $12 packing (boxes)

• $125 shipping

• $120 in materials

• $40 emotional labour (oh, you got to give me that!)

• Net: $128 and a fine mist of contempt

But hey, you’re building cultural capital! You can eat that, right? Sprinkle some on your toast.

Step 4: Include a Packing Slip and Existential Reflection

Slip in a handwritten thank-you, and maybe a note that says:

“This piece cost me four weeks, three firings, and a bit of my soul. Please don’t use it as a fruit bowl.”

Art is sacred. That means people think it should be free.

Step 5: Close the Box, But Not Your Heart

Tape it shut like you tape your expectations: with hope and grim determination. Label: "FRAGILE – like the entire economic foundation of contemporary art."

Ship it out. Then sit quietly with your tea, and write a manifesto disguised as a shipping invoice.

Bonus Section: The Packing Materials You Really Need

Material	Price	Emotional Equivalent
Foam Cradle	$150	Mild despair
Reused Cardboard	$0	Justified rage
Painter’s Tape	$3.99	Self-doubt made adhesive
Art Practice	Priceless	And somehow still unpaid

 I need a martini.